And then there were 3!: Confessions of a new Mom.

And then there were 3!: Confessions of a new Mom.: Alana will be 6 months on the 29th! I know it has gone by so fast right?!!! I am exhausted and so depressed at where I am at compared to whe...

Confessions of a new Mom.

Alana will be 6 months on the 29th! I know it has gone by so fast right?!!! I am exhausted and so depressed at where I am at compared to where I thought I would be, I thought I would have lost all of the baby weight plus more, I thought I would be back to working out 6+ hours a week like I was before. I thought I would be breastfeeding Alana and shedding the pounds I thought Adam would still be working the same job and not driving 40min. one way to work. My life has flipped upside down and I am not handling things very well.  I have gone back to old habits that I never thought I would! I am drinking Dt. Coke (Caffeine free of course) but with that brings the ice cream and cookies....When I go grocery shopping I am a champ. I will buy veggies and fruits and lean meats (93-97% lean) No sugary treats, whole wheat pasta, brown rice. Granted Adam gets his soda and crackers or chips but I honestly don't touch those. I have the best intentions but no follow through. During the week for breakfast I eat a peanut butter sandwich on Ezekiel bread in the car on my way to work. At lunch I eat a turkey sandwich on whole wheat bread with pesto turkey 1 slice of provolone lettuce tomatoes and cucumbers and a few chips like 5-6 because I have to eat it in 10 minutes. Then after work I stop to get a cup of iced coffee (decaf) and head home. I am so exhausted and miss Alana so I hang out with her and when Adam asks what I want for dinner I don't know. So most nights he is running to subway, or burger king/taco bell because we can not chose just one together, or pizza hut.  I honestly don't know how Mom's do it! How do you work full time and come home, work out and make dinner and take care of the baby and keep everything clean? I just haven't figured it out! I have been working out consistently after having Alana which is a huge plus! I am up to 4 days a week and on Saturdays I throw in a 30 min. sculpting class to help with the weights. Now I have an injured knee and I am feeling the doubts coming in. This is a time where I can give in and just let go free myself from trying so hard and just live however I want to. Yes I will feel guilty constantly and hate how I look everyday but it would be much easier. Or I can let my knee heal and go back to working out and kick this stupid food and drink problem in the butt! Nothing in life comes easy right? Things that are great are worth the fight right? When I get to the size I want to be will I be happy? So many questions....

Just plain tired!

This week has been exhausting! Working full time and taking care of Alana when I am home with no support from the hubby is tough. I have been waking up at around 5:20am from Alana and have to be up by 6 anyway so I feed her and get her settled back down so I don't get back to sleep. Then when I get home  I spend sometime with my sweet baby until I go off to Jubilation for a zumba workout. By the time I get home it is time to give Alana her bath and get her to bed. I miss her so much!! Being a full time working Mom is just hard. My house is always a mess and it makes me irritable.  I just can't keep up but I guess that is the price I pay when I want to spend time with my sweet pea then washing dishes. Time to go to bed hopefully I don't wake up exhausted again.

Top Mommy Blog.

I was just accepted into the top Mommy blog site!!! I am so excited about this now you can come and vote for my blog.

Alana was dedicated into the church today.

I am so happy that my friends from college could come and see us today. Pastor Brad dedicated Alana into the church and it meant so much to me. God gave me Alana (she is the most precious gift) and now I am giving her back in a sense. I hope and pray that God teaches me how to be the Mommy he wants me to be for her. I want her to love God and praise His name. We all have our struggles but God brings us so much joy. All I want is the best for her. :)

Enough with the negative!!! All positive!

Over the past months I have been pretty discouraged with my weight and fitness.  It is time to stop moping and acknowledge what I am doing and realize I am doing a great job. I honestly thought after having Alana I would jump right back into working out and eating healthy automatically but it didn't work that ways so ok I'm moving on.
I have so many exciting things going on in my life right now and I am going to focus on that!

She is getting so big and fun!!! So from now on I am focusing on Alana and yes I am still going to be healthy but I am not going to worry about every pound on the scale. I have made a big change by canceling my gym membership and joining Jubilation. It is so much more fun. At the end of class all I want to do is stay and do another. I want Alana to grow up seeing me have fun and be happy not going because I have to it is fun!

This weekend I have felt better then ever. I am rocking my zumba classes and enjoying it enough that I downloaded the playlist and dance around the house with Alana and she loves it. I am noticing a difference in the way my body feels too. I feel tighter and more energetic. I have to give myself credit I am doing great 4 months after having a baby via c-section. My body is not the same I am not the same but I am going to be better then ever. These are the best days of my life and I am going to live them to the fullest and enjoy them. Screw the scale it is being put away for awhile!!!

A new zumba experience.

This week I went to Jubilation a small workout studio. It was such a breath of fresh air! I had so much fun! I am honestly considering switching my memberships. I want my workouts to be fun. Right now step and kick boxing are hard and I enjoy them but not like I enjoy the feeling and high I get off of zumba. So over the next month I am going to go to some more classes and try and make the best choice I can. I am looking forward to this new me. Not as rigid as I used to be about working out but more fun and energetic.
I think it is funny how the one class that I was so scared to do and self conscience in (about shaking all my jiggly parts) is the one I love the most and makes me feel free and alive!